I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
