Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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