I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize