Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
