I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
