Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
