So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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