Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
