planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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