just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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