do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
even my farts smell like vagina
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
