Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
