I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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