Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
