My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
