I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
