I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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