Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
