And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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