He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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