If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
