before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
