In the future we'll all be gay
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
