you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
