Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
