At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
