He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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