i permit you to call me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
