Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
