You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
