she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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