I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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