jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
