Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
