dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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