something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
