is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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