I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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