I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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