sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
