So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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