Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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