my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
