that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
