If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Sext me about skeletons
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
