Michael Bay diarrhea
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize