sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
