All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
