I wanna bring you to show and tell
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
