i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
