two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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