Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
