I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize