Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
