The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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