What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
