The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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