1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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