Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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