I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
