I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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