You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
