OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
